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The mother is the heart of the home
- Jayde Moritz
- Apr 1, 2023
- 5 min read
The mother is the heart of the home. She is the love that holds the home together. When we look after the mother we look after the entire home.
When a woman gives birth her whole body is cracked wide open, she becomes someone she never thought she could be and never could have imagined. This change is called matrescence. Matrescence like adolescents is the physical, psychological and emotional changes that occur; however, in this case it happens after a woman gives birth. It’s the period of transition from maiden to mother, her brain changes, her life changes and her priorities change. These changes don’t just happen overnight, they continue to develop over the years and will continue to grow and become more amplified after every pregnancy and birth. During the time of matrescence a mothers eyes are cracked wide open and her heart explodes. It's from here that she has learnt to love with her whole heart and she is taught what real love is. Though, this doesn't come without conflict, because it is then that she also becomes the heart of the home, the warmth of the house, the comfort for all and the loving kind soul that holds those around her together. This means that when she is sad the energy in her home drops, when she is stressed her baby feels her stress, when she is angry those within her home feel her anger and when she isn’t glowing and thriving with health, neither is anyone else within her home. Matrescence also brings about many instinctual and subconscious challenges for the mother. She is no longer the woman who puts herself and her health first, but instead instinctually puts her desires and her health after everyone else's, especially her baby’s. Just look at the way breast milk responds and nourishes her baby. If a mother does not get enough magnesium, zinc, omega 3 DHA or calcium in her diet her body will literally pull nutrients from her own stores. Her body will draw omega 3 DHA from her brain and calcium from her own bones to give to her baby. Leaving the mother depleted, weak, overwhelmed, stressed and tired all to ensure that her baby thrives. And people wonder why women are suffering from postpartum depression, anxiety, overwhelm, a lack of self-esteem and feeling of lost identity. Their partners and their families wonder where the loving, happy and energetic women that they once knew went, though it's hard to that happy person when your brain is literally being drained of its nutrients.
Nonetheless, society does not support the health of a mother. When a baby is born, society, the woman’s family, her friends and the medical community are often so worried about looking after the baby, especially after the first 6 weeks postpartum, that the mother gets forgotten about and as a result suffers emotionally and physically. This in combination with the changes associated
with matrescence and the instinctual and subconscious desire to put her baby’s health before her own causes her to doubt her own worth, and she starts to believe that she shouldn't or can't put herself and her health first. She starts to believe that she needs to put her baby’s health and happiness before her own, regardless of how she is suffering. Society further encourages this by looking down at the mother and judging her when she loves herself and puts herself first. When she spends money on physical and nutritional support postpartum instead of buying more clothes for her baby, when she goes to the gym rather than picking her baby up early from day care, or when she catches up with friends and leaves her baby at home, or when she chooses to go back to work and expresses that she loves that time away from her child. It’s time that we flip this, it’s time that we start encouraging other women and mothers to put themselves first, before her family. It’s time we start mothering the mother and give her the same instinctual love and support that she gives her baby. Because when mothers put themselves first the love, connection and health within the entire home and society changes. Suddenly she can give her baby the love they need because she isn’t in pain every time she picks her baby up, she has the energy to play at the park and swim at the beach, she is no longer the mother who sits back and lets her partner have all the fun with their child, suddenly she too wants to be involved. Suddenly she has the space and the awareness to give her partner the love that they too need. Suddenly she wants to be at home and isn’t looking for an excuse to escape to the grocery shop on her own.
How do we do this, how do we create a home and a society that puts the mother first? We need to first acknowledge the change that happens to a woman when she gives birth, we need to accept that she will never be the same and stop trying to get her to be the person she once was, rather we need to accept that she is a new woman and celebrate matrescence. We need to start motheirng the mother, the baby will be loved and the baby will be cared for, the mothers instinctual habits will ensure this, it is the mother who needs love and support. We also need to create a community that values holistic health for pregnant and postpartum women, and make it common practice for women to seek out nutritional support and support from physios, acupuncturists, naturopaths, personal trainers, doulas and other holistic health experts. We need to encourage mothers to seek this support during pregnancy and beyond the first 6 weeks postpartum. Why do we need to do this? Because the mothers priority and love is for her baby, her body and instinctual actions will ensure the baby is looked after above and beyond her own health; though she is the heart of the home. She is the love that holds the home together; when we look after the mother we look after the entire family.
About the Author
Hi, my name is Jayde. I am a Nutrition Consultant and Health coach specialising in pregnancy, postpartum, babies and pregnancy and infant loss. I use natural and holistic nutrition and lifestyle changes to help women better navigate their journey through motherhood and live all round healthier lives. I strongly believe that in order to have happy and thriving babies we must first create glowing and thriving mothers.
Instagram: @glowing_and_thriving
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